* the right one *

A friend asked me a few times before, "How do you know if he's the one? The right one?" "Well...." I said, " you'll know lah somehow...like gut instincts"

Then again, when I look back into my few past relationships (so few I still have balance fingers if counting on just one hand!); they were actually quite doomed cases but I went through them like...you got it! They were the ones!

I lived them, took all their stories, their excuses, their terms and their limited support while I gave them my youth, my tolerance, my support and so on. All in the name of LOVE.
I'm not saying I was the perfect girl friend nor were they the perfect men though at that time they did...but I learnt a lot of things from them.

Like patience, tolerance, being supportive, turning many blind eyes, making excuses, laughing, crying, compassion, understanding, independance (especially after a break up!), living together, sharing, not sharing, accepting, compromising and on and on and on....but most of all...TRUST.

These guys demanded 100% trust of me and I did and...the rest you can figure. I am the ultimate loyal nut ok and I'd even turn my back on my own flesh and blood for the man...well at least 80%.

So I am now without a man since 2000. I tried to open my heart to a few but they didn't reciprocate as I had hoped. Then last year, an old friend turned up and sparks flew and I was all hooked! Sadly, he backed out. What can I say?

Well what I am trying to say my dear friend, I have come to the conclusion that there is no 'the right one'. It's all a myth! Because at the end of day, even if you are sure he is the right one, it may not work out.

I figured that the right one does not fall on your lap or doorstep whatever. The right one is when you are sure of your feelings for him (vv) and you work at keeping it right with a clear head and compromise and trust. And as long as that works out, then you are right to make it the right one.

Am I making sense? Sorry...what with what I have gone through...this is my conclusion of the right one. In short, make the best of what you have and all will be right.

Right? :)

P/S: to those of you who have found their right ones, hallelujah! (No pun intended.)

to those of us who have not or yet to have....if you love them enough, make the best of it. Too much to ask? You to decide.

Shalom.

* Fei tut tut ~ part 3 *

Alas! My Sonny has left the nest today. I had just taken him to his new home. Thankfully he was very comfortable with my mum's friend but a bit perplexed as we left.

As he's always been travelling with me in the car to my friends' homes and playing with their dogs, he must have thought this was the same old routine. Boy, he's gonna be wondering why I have not come back later.

Sigh....it's sad when you have to let go. He must have sensed something amiss since yesterday. He'd been less active with his jaws on me and actually tailed me more often than usual.

The only consolation I have is that he has a good loving home and a one year old female german shepherd to reckon with. With his personality, he'll bring her around to his side easily.

My nephew and help came along cos they are close to him whenever I am not around. It was no doubt a subdued mood in the car as we left and I drove to the nearest Indian shop to get some curries for dinner. That kinda helped a bit.

I went home and Guzz was buzzing about looking for him. It felt quiet without Sonny running around and jumping at Guzz or going after my plants....

Someone told me, 'if you love somebody you have to let him free' and how true. Just because this is the cutest stage and we are all getting attached.... it wouldn't be fair to let his new owners not share in his cute stages....

Sigh...I miss him already. 'Next time' I told my nephew, 'we take it straight to the centre' in case he does it again. The attachment and the love to Sonny aka Fei tut tut aka Killer aka Cute cute aka Dow is very strong on my part cos the rascal sleeps with me on my bed every night!

Well my dear darling son....God has led you to this good home close to us, where we can visit you anytime. PLease do not continue the biting business as it's not a lucrative deal and just keep flashing those cute grins and adorable eyes to melt the hardest of hearts as you push your limits.

We will not forget you Benson aka Sonny aka Fei tut tut aka Cute cute aka Dow aka Killer. You have brought so much joy to us and may you continue to do so in your new home.

Woof! Woof!

* Another day *

Waking to the sound of cars whizzing by
The bed boards creak as I struggle to get up.
Err...wait! Could be my bones creaking!
Take a few deep breaths
fresh air awakening my senses...
Another huff and I take my first step.
Radio blaring above the shower,
hear a frog joining in the chorus.
Err... wait! That ain't no frog!

Put on my clothes and dry my hair.
Slip in my shoes and grab my bags.
Follow my nose to the nearest shop
Order my breakfast no hesitations.
Coffee slowly waking my brain cells
gonna need it because
It's another new day
Wonder what's in store.
All good I hope...
otherwise I'm going back to bed!

( another :P )

~ 27 april 2004 ~

*get what you get*

There've been days when I sit down
with my pencil and book.
And the words just gush out
losing some along the way.
Then there've been days I sit and I sit...
wracking my head till it hurts
Not a word, no no.
So I up and leave in a blazing fit
Truly, like a drama queen.

Some days you have it
trying so hard to keep with the flow
Your hand starts to ache
scribbling as fast as you can
Blood rushing to your head
You think you're gonna explode!

Then the days that you don't
pencil in your hand
empty page in your face
dull ache in your head.
'Writer's block' they say.
I say 'there ain't nothing there today.'

So face it, some days you have it
Some days you don't.
It's good old fashion summing
You get what you get.

:P

~ 27th April 2004 ~

* Fei tut tut ~ part two *

Remember Fei tut tut aka killer aka cute-cute aka sonny aka dow....well he just turned two months old on the 21st of March. And he is still with us...yes. The family he was due to stay with were too impatient to wait for him and they took another pup instead! I was crushed. Not because I want to get rid of him but I felt he had the right home to go to.

A shame really, I was all set to send him over this weekend but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I was quite upset after the phone call and I had to get away. Called a friend and packed up, Sonny and I left the house!

Believe me, if I had the opportunity, I'd keep him in a flash! He's such a darling when he's not biting. Haha! And he is so smart. He learnt to sit just after a month and knew what he could and could not do with his teeth.

Alas, as he is still so young, he now contradicts my early praises every once in awhile but I don't expect perfection and with his occasional defiance and cheekiness,

your days are never boring in his company. Then he has those moments when he would sidle up beside you and lay his head on your arm or tummy and look at you as if you're his whole world or gives a dreamy look and sleep right there.

I do hope we will be able to find him a good home with people who will love him unconditionally like us. The day he turned two months, he was in his element, playful and so full of energy!
You will see from the pics I am posting in here. Enjoy them....:)

What happens when a puppy runs out of steam??

Doggie Zzzzzsss.......! :)

* Fei tut tut *

This tiny newcomer…very, very tiny and so, so fragile…was nestled on a folded towel in a box resting on its side beside Sayang. When I came home, I was astonished at the sight!

“Sayang! You sneaky one. I didn’t even know you were pregnant.” I said to her as I dropped everything in my hands and picked up the little fella. “Just one, girl?” I rallied on while checking him out in my hands. She wagged her tail like a proud mum.

He wriggled a bit before settling comfortably in my palms, emitting little sounds. His eyes were tightly closed and I realised… so were his ears. My nephew then told me he had brought him home the day before from school. It was crawling in the carpark area with another and were being attacked by red ants.

So with one free hand left, he brought this fella home whilst his friend took the other. I looked him in the eye and said, “You know we can’t keep him right?”
“Why not?”
“Cos we have too many to handle and you are no help eventually.”
“But I have been taking care…” he spluttered.
“ I know but for how long?” he gave me a sheepish smile after I quoted an earlier example.
“ I am sorry” I said and he nodded as he understood what I was trying to say.

A dirty black he was with patch of white across his chest. He also wore whitish socks and carried a tiny white flag….much to the dismay of those superstitious chinese. Yet to us, he’s been a gem and everyone at home has taken a liking to him immediately.

Gauging from his unopened ears, eyes and size…he was about three days old when he came to us. That same evening I went to get a bottle and milk. They were feeding him with a syringe before then. I gave my nephews lessons in caring for such a young pup and how to make it do its ‘businesses’ as it had no mother to do so. Also, it is all part of hygiene and keeping it free from unwanted problems.

They were quite appalled at the whole thing at first but soon gave in to delight and the teasings they received as proud ‘father’ and ‘uncle’! I took it home with me whenever I was home long enough, more to relieve the maid and also not to let the boys get too attached to it as it had to go to a new home eventually.

True to their personalities, the boys soon left the feeding and cleaning up to the maid and only played with him as when they were off their real passion….computer games and PS2! Yet they still want to keep him but as we all know, ALL puppies are adorable but will you still adore them when they grow up?

This little fella is a definite mongrel but he has developed some very nice colouring likening it to the sled dogs, huskies. Pity we can’t keep him as we have too many here but Thank God, we have found him a home not far from us. A friend says they love dogs and had just lost their own recently, thus the eagerness to have this little one when they heard he needed a good home.

It’s about 7 weeks now since ‘cute cute’ (my nephew) aka ‘fei-tut-tut’, ‘killer’, ‘dow - david oliver wilshire’ (my crazy friends) aka ‘sonny boy’ as in a son to me; has come into our lives and he’s taken hearts wherever he has gone with me.

Yes, he’s a regular traveler whenever he is with me and has played with many different size dogs too. A friend’s cat had actually found his basket irresistibly tempting to jump into for some investigative confirmation that it was not the same species.

He’s grown out of his basket now and today I took him to the vet for a check up. He’d been poked and fed with meds and verdict…healthy and will grow to be a big fella. Got him puppy biscuits and chewable bones to try keep his teething to himself and not on our ankles, pants and us!

He’s become more curious and he’s learning how far he can ignore and barge on with his antics before receiving a tap from his teacher…the paper roll. He’s pretty good considering after his 10-30minutes of mucking about, he goes off to a cool spot and sleeps without bothering you. Frankly, we love to bug him when he’s asleep cos he’s so cute!

He’d groan and stretch and turn away but there we will be picking him up into laps and arms and hugging him, showering him with kisses…..my mum would tell us off but I guess that’s the only time you can do these without being chewed!

Guzz too enjoys playing with him cos he gets to finish Sonny's leftovers and now kindly allows the little fella to nibble into his chomp bowl!

Well, this is Sonny boy aka Fei tut tut ('fatty' in chinese) aka dow aka killer and this is his story of how God sent him to us to love and nurture before his next home. He is a lucky and well loved pup and we hope he will be as loved in his new home.

Wuf!

* hello *

Mmmm..........it's been just over two months since my last entry and this means

1. Been very very busy
2. Been quite busy and partly lazy
3. Procrastinating

I think I'll opt for 2! Hahah....yes, there's a male in my life, keeping me pretty occupied with my days off. I do so want to share what's been going on but....he's pretty demanding, keeping me too tired to type actually.

I will try and post in asap when I can. I must confess.....he is absolutely adorable. Everyone can't resist his charms.

Yes, I am definitely besotted and am missing him when i am away.
I will also post some pics. He's simply gorgeous.

Later........

* Su-Ee *



Well, I did intend to write about dog stories when I started this blog and been straying quite a bit lately. So today, this is about a little dog whose owner decided to give her a makeover!

Su Ee is a three year old shitzu. She stole my friend’s heart in a pet shop who bought her for her daughter. She had dark hair colourings on her head and of course, as all puppies are…simply adorable!

I have only seen Su Ee lately since last year and she is a cutie. Her owner claims she thinks she is a human as she is always in the house and sleeps with her daughter every night. She welcomes you with her charm and next thing you know, she is enjoying a good rub or stroking session with you.

My exasperated friend says she is a hopeless guard dog. Errr….well, she is basically a toy dog. No? She’d run away from the two wooden elephant statuettes that now stand the same height as her when she was younger!

Adorable as she is, I find her quite independent and very attached to her little friend, my friend’s daughter. She would come sit with me whenever I visit as I give her the attention she wants.

Last night, after having spent the whole day out with my friend, we settled down to long gossips in her house. Su Ee as usual was lying in the center and the conversation turned to dogs and my friend began talking about the schnauzers she’d seen at a recent pet show.

She had been toying with the idea of trimming dear Su Ee’s coat to liken the schnauzers! And I guess last night was when it all happened. The poor dog had no chance. Within minutes, the little girl whipped out the scissors and comb and Su Ee found herself being groomed for the second time that day! Yes. My friend’s husband had just spent the afternoon combing her hair out and trimming off her knots etc and I bet the both of them must have been quite tired at the end of it.

Using a picture on the notebook nearby, she began cutting off her hair whilst I brushed another dog’s coat. Snip snip snip and soon it was time to do her head. After an hour of trimming and holding and adjusting and figuring….. they finally have a pseudo schnauzer!

I would say her head has a little likeness to the actual schnauzers, not her body but the idea had been achieved and I doubt Su Ee would actually mind the short coat on her back with the weather being so hot these days.

End of day, although she is the pseudo schnauzer, Su Ee the shitzu still manages to keep that charm she rightly owns. But first…..a nap. It’s been a long day. Heh heh!

Woof! Woof!