* sitting duck *

~ 12th July 2009 ~

This evening, I was cleaning house after a visit from the pest control men yesterday who had moved everything away from the walls and practically disarrayed my already disarrayed furniture and stuff....it was a major clean up

as they had sprayed at the top of my walls where they meet the ceiling. So everything below had to be washed and cleaned in case of the spray settling.

I had done a bit yesterday after hiding at a friend's for awhile till the fumes had dissipated and it was like walking thru a burgled house! What a bloody mess. Actually, it was good as I found stuff and happily threw some out too. I come from a family of hoarders and believe you me....the things you see are unbelievably old or rendered too much for someone like me living alone in a house. Hahahah...........yes, yes. I am a hoarder.

Anyway, as I started on my tiny kitchen floor with those U brown brush; I was delighted at how it got the dirt of my tiles. I had used hard broom brushes, plastic or synthetic brushes, even scourers - white, green, blue, pink...you name it but nothing from what I got this evening. Immediate dirt leaving the tiles made them gleam beneath the soapy water.

I was so excited to see this I was on my knees brushing every nook and corner except under the oven. So I decided to shift the blocks under the oven legs a little to slowly bring it forward. As I set the heavy oven down, it came forward at me as silly me had shifted further away than thought!

The oven tipped forward towards me and I tried to stop it from falling by slamming my body against it but the soapy floor did not help and soon I slid backwards in a flash and landed on my front! As this happened, I was also trying to avoid the flying grill pan coming right at me.

Flat out on my front I fought to catch my breath and looked up helplessly in anticipation of the oven crashing down on me. Mind you, my kitchen is small and between the oven and the back of me which was the cabinets; space was enough for me to lie down. I felt both my knees slam against the floor as I landed and the pain....hard to get up right away.

Hence the SITTING DUCK. Ironically I had time to think.. " Hell! Just last night I was watching one of those Final Destination movies on the telly and felt I was gonna die a gruesome death like them! Heck! I don't wanna die this way, so bloody stupid! Where the hell is my phone??? "

Yes, all these ran through my head as this poor sitting sod lay there waiting for the oven to fall on top of her when it just stopped! I couldn't believe it. I slowly pulled myself up, wincing at the pains in my knees and realised the bottom drawer of the oven had come out a little and landed on the blocks hence stopping the oven from falling over!! Incredible! Ludicrous irony! What luck! What fate??

My only guess is God is still not ready for my company and so here I am with two banged up knees and and a clotted thumb. How? I don't know. :P Now I know how other 'sitting ducks' feel especially when in danger. Helpless and in my situasion, not a nice way to go. My life had no time to flash in front of me as I was busy with the movie last night and my phone.

So there, the tale of the girl who got away but hurt her knees instead. Who felt to die this way is so senseless. Imagine an oven on someone. Like some cartoon excerpt with the ironic twist.

Well I'm back to write another day and hope you found this ticklish and LOL. Take care you. :)